4th of July Weekend With the Whole Fam-damily - Incidents
1. MIL navigation can be daunting...a cold beer and a few sparklers can and will put it right into perspective
2. Dress yourself, your spouse, and most importantly your children, appropriately for the holiday, meals, visitors and for that matter the public pool…even if you do this there is an inherent risk being sent back to the suitcase
3. The kitchen does close…if yer hungry, don’t be late
4. Always answer with, ‘…that sounds like a great idea!’ then continue on with whatever you were doing...
5. If your counterpart must leave early, do not...under any circumstances...extend your trip
Road Trippin' Across Oregon & Nevada -Accidents
1. When enjoying a road trip from Oregon to Texas with your 80 year old aunt in 100+ degree weather, remember not to let her consume foods that are known to bring on digestive issues...especially when boys under 11 years of age in the car…and the conversation about appropriate bodily function banter has not occurred (unfortunately the heat was too much for her…we put her on a plane in Salt Lake City and meet her in Dallas)
2. Not many rest stops in Nevada. Moving up in altitude and heat...water consumption hits an all time high: Squatting is an art form…when a girl is rushed nothing good can come of it…I drove a little damp for the next few miles…ick, right?, I know…
Road Trippin' Across Utah - Hints of Allegations
1. Holy ever lovin’ Cowboys, Batman!!! Everywhere you look you can find a cozy little corral on the side of the highway...and there he is, maybe with a buddy...maybe not...practicin' his ropin' while the herd grazes on the hill...or just lazin' in the shade with his trusty horse..I had to stop and visit a spell.
2. This girl is not coming home a Mormon, but, since I am always game for stirrin’ up a little trouble, thought about switchin' it up and bringing home a few more husbands...don’t think Tom will mind….they would all have good paying jobs and look reeeal good all cowboy’d up.
Notable mention: the geography in Utah, specifically the salt flats …a must see for all the cool kats...
Steamboat Springs, Colorado - another accident...as accident, by it's very definition is something that could have been avoided
The people, the weather, the lifestyle…all fabulous! Too good to be true??? What is there NOT to love, you ask? The A Hole on the river through town…That’s what is NOT to love! The events of that first day went like this:
Kelly, Finn and Teage decide to tube the river…it is 97 degrees with no breeze, my youngest niece, Adelyn, has to nap and this should just about kill that 2 hours…we walk into town and size up the half dozen or so rental shacks…choose the one nicely snuggled up to the smoothie shop (thinking about how fabulous a cold smoothie will taste after a coupla hours on the river) I pay...and we move on to being fitted with life jackets...within seconds Teage's eyes are welling up with tears...he is afraid to ride alone…teens running the tube rental joint say they did not see any reason it would not be safe for him to ride with me, and offer “…the river is not that high...”. We are schooled with a very quick, and soon to find out, not-so-helpful, description of the river and areas to avoid…Teage is excited again and away we are sent…Immediately after putting in I realize I am not in Kansas anymore and key points are evident: 1. Whether or not the river was high was clearly a matter of opinion and safety is a relative term in Steamboat Springs...they had no idea what they were talking about with regards to either. 2. The equation of Mom +Teage+ one tube + high river + the approaching A hole, is not a good one…and the ending is a clear given… As soon as we get straight in the current we see the churning A Hole ahead...ever go gracefully, we dump, go under, roll around a bit and then endure a 20 minute ordeal stumbling, slipping and scrambling to the bank…revisiting the sub-aquatic world several times along the way…all the while Finn has grabbed onto a low hanging branch and is trying not to slip away down the river alone AND trying with all of his mite not to laugh (not real successful with the that last one)…all happening a short 100 yards from where we put in…the adventure was dashed, but thankfully not all was not lost...Fulfilled was a young boys’ dream to have mom's nod for the rest of the day to proclaim, “…mom was dumped by the A hole!”.
1. MIL navigation can be daunting...a cold beer and a few sparklers can and will put it right into perspective
2. Dress yourself, your spouse, and most importantly your children, appropriately for the holiday, meals, visitors and for that matter the public pool…even if you do this there is an inherent risk being sent back to the suitcase
3. The kitchen does close…if yer hungry, don’t be late
4. Always answer with, ‘…that sounds like a great idea!’ then continue on with whatever you were doing...
5. If your counterpart must leave early, do not...under any circumstances...extend your trip
Road Trippin' Across Oregon & Nevada -Accidents
1. When enjoying a road trip from Oregon to Texas with your 80 year old aunt in 100+ degree weather, remember not to let her consume foods that are known to bring on digestive issues...especially when boys under 11 years of age in the car…and the conversation about appropriate bodily function banter has not occurred (unfortunately the heat was too much for her…we put her on a plane in Salt Lake City and meet her in Dallas)
2. Not many rest stops in Nevada. Moving up in altitude and heat...water consumption hits an all time high: Squatting is an art form…when a girl is rushed nothing good can come of it…I drove a little damp for the next few miles…ick, right?, I know…
Road Trippin' Across Utah - Hints of Allegations
1. Holy ever lovin’ Cowboys, Batman!!! Everywhere you look you can find a cozy little corral on the side of the highway...and there he is, maybe with a buddy...maybe not...practicin' his ropin' while the herd grazes on the hill...or just lazin' in the shade with his trusty horse..I had to stop and visit a spell.
2. This girl is not coming home a Mormon, but, since I am always game for stirrin’ up a little trouble, thought about switchin' it up and bringing home a few more husbands...don’t think Tom will mind….they would all have good paying jobs and look reeeal good all cowboy’d up.
Notable mention: the geography in Utah, specifically the salt flats …a must see for all the cool kats...
Steamboat Springs, Colorado - another accident...as accident, by it's very definition is something that could have been avoided
The people, the weather, the lifestyle…all fabulous! Too good to be true??? What is there NOT to love, you ask? The A Hole on the river through town…That’s what is NOT to love! The events of that first day went like this:
Kelly, Finn and Teage decide to tube the river…it is 97 degrees with no breeze, my youngest niece, Adelyn, has to nap and this should just about kill that 2 hours…we walk into town and size up the half dozen or so rental shacks…choose the one nicely snuggled up to the smoothie shop (thinking about how fabulous a cold smoothie will taste after a coupla hours on the river) I pay...and we move on to being fitted with life jackets...within seconds Teage's eyes are welling up with tears...he is afraid to ride alone…teens running the tube rental joint say they did not see any reason it would not be safe for him to ride with me, and offer “…the river is not that high...”. We are schooled with a very quick, and soon to find out, not-so-helpful, description of the river and areas to avoid…Teage is excited again and away we are sent…Immediately after putting in I realize I am not in Kansas anymore and key points are evident: 1. Whether or not the river was high was clearly a matter of opinion and safety is a relative term in Steamboat Springs...they had no idea what they were talking about with regards to either. 2. The equation of Mom +Teage+ one tube + high river + the approaching A hole, is not a good one…and the ending is a clear given… As soon as we get straight in the current we see the churning A Hole ahead...ever go gracefully, we dump, go under, roll around a bit and then endure a 20 minute ordeal stumbling, slipping and scrambling to the bank…revisiting the sub-aquatic world several times along the way…all the while Finn has grabbed onto a low hanging branch and is trying not to slip away down the river alone AND trying with all of his mite not to laugh (not real successful with the that last one)…all happening a short 100 yards from where we put in…the adventure was dashed, but thankfully not all was not lost...Fulfilled was a young boys’ dream to have mom's nod for the rest of the day to proclaim, “…mom was dumped by the A hole!”.
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