Re-entry and cow bell

Re-entry really kicked my ass over the past 2 weeks. I thank the sweet heavens for throwing me back in the driver’s seat...where I belong.

Since about 8/1...I had been a mess...feeling sorry for myself...frustrated & bitter...I loved being on the road...all my alter egos living out loud...I spent my days taking pictures, basking in 90+ degree sunshine and exploring...I did not want to come home to the minutia of life...my sick mother and all the drama, I was dreading my oldest leaving for college...uncertain if the project I really had been wanting to work on was going to come to fruition (I don't sit still well...so not working the last 3 months or so has been REALLY hard) ...I had fallen and could not get up and as far as I could tell the damn alert doo-hicky was out of batteries...cuz about 2 weeks flew by...yet there I was laying on the floor...clapping like a bat out of hell...and not a freaking medic was in sight...I am not sure you clap with the doo-hickey, but still, you get it…this was overwhelming me…I needed intervention…

Tuesday night...my 'medic' arrives. I spent the better part of that evening sobbing in my cereal (actually it was yummy pasta with fresh picked tomatoes and a lovely buttery chard, but still) to a friend...and boy, did I let it all out…I think I might have even made some shit up...whether I meant it or not...cried my eyes out...must have been a little weird for her...even though she has known me most of my life, our experience has been 180 degrees different...all good for both...but very, very different...well, she handled by validating which was great, and then followed that up with a figurative excerpt from my life story... Chapter: The 9th Year....this involved my father, a leather strap and my bare backside after I called my mom an 'old heifer' and kicked a big hole in the back screen door (never did THAT again).

Between the swift kick in the rear fender she so gave like she'd been doin it for years!...and Connor (my oldest) ACTUALLY leaving for college, just fine and right on time...my project kicking off with incredible momentum…don’t ya know it…last week there was a proverbial knock at the door and there before my very eyes stood the savvy city girl, the ass kickin Annie Oakley-type and Miss Kelly White..all my lovely alter egos were there, dressed for the occasion, mint juleps in hand, ready to 2 step and rustle up some trouble. I even looked like myself again today…

My lesson on this trip was to remember to completely live in the moment…would have made for a lot less bitch and a lot more cow bell that last week